otakon 2009: day 0

sooooooooo this is gonna be an awesome weekend. i just know it.

today, while not really the first day, was still an important day. firstly, and completely unrelated, i successfully cut and wrapped cheese with only one thumb. go me! and then i got paid. HORRAYYYY!!

anyway...

i left work at about 7:15 and drove all the way back to owings mills to pick yasha up. we were getting our passes early, you see. then we continued to his mom's house because he finally had his full license and needed to get the paper to prove it. and then we went to the city. i successfully didn't crash or almost crash while driving in the city! we parked and got to the line a little after 9. we then proceeded to walk around nearly the entire building just to find the end. BUT THEN we saw a few people yasha knew from ccbc, so we jumped in with them. even though we passed another guy he knew and they even hugged. but no, we just kept walking. dummy...

anywayy....

so we waited and waited and waited for a little over an hour. we met a black naruto [from the shippuden series] who was pretty cool. he already had his pass and was just walking with us. there was also a guy on those rabbit extendo-legs. no idea how he got up the stairs on those. very carefully, i'd imagine. we get inside and to the booths. AND THE FIRST CHOICE FOR BADGES IS HOST CLUB!! so i had to get that one. duh.

so we're done. walk back to the car, pay the parking [i now owe yasha $8 cuz i had no cash...], and spend, like, half an hour trying to get out of the city. part of charles and some other street were closed for road work, so it took a while to navigate around them. but eventually we did. oh, and my phone died just before we reached the boothes.

so i drive yasha home, and then i go home. exciting. and i laid out my clothes and packed my bag. it certainly is convenient, getting my badge on thursday. now i don't have to plan more time for waiting.

i'm getting up at 7:30 for a shower, and getting picked up a little before 9. cuz i have to hit the bank as soon as it opens to deposit my paycheck so i can actually buy stuff. $100 cash, $100 into savings, and the rest into checking. i'll have about $450 to spend between my card and the cash. i think that'll be pleeeenty, considering i don't really buy much. but i have to get a cute shirt. i have to.

if all goes well we'll be at the con around 10, allowing for traffic and parking. we're meeting up with hindle there, and at some point with jo and her bro. and we're gonna sneak christian in for free.

IT'S GONNA BE AWESOMEEEEEEE!!!!!

why is he so intense?

sometimes, this relationship is so nice and awesome. most of the time it is. but sometimes he freaks me out emotionally.... because i can tell he's way more into this than i seem to be. i am not pretty much convinced that he loves me, like for real-for real. and me... i can't really be sure. he's really awesome and i really like him, but i have trouble with real attachments. and i'm always afraid things will progress so far that sex becomes an option and i am really not ready for that at all. i'm terrified.

this is the most intense relationship i've been in. well, really it's the first real relationship i've been in. jay barely counts [sad to say], emily was really just comforting and safe. it fascinates me and terrifies me, the depth of his feelings for me, and i feel like i can't really return them. i want to try, i enjoy it all, but i honestly don't feel for him in the same way.

that sounds like i should break up with him.... and i don't want to. mainly because i know it'll really hurt him and we've really only been together for a couple weeks.

god, why do relationships have to be so hard?!