sshhhhh

Sometimes, my asexuality feels like a secret shared by me and one of my exs. I feel like both of us kind of used the relationship to figure out how comfortable we were with couple-y things, and if it never went past a few kisses, that was fine. So when someone around us mentions something about 'hey, you'd tap that right?' or some such, we kinda glance at each other and go 'ehhh, suuure.'

And immediately following that nice and comfortable relationship, I was with a guy who was steadily going further, and I always felt detached from what he was doing to me. Sure, it felt kinda nice, but it never got me 'hot n bothered.' And when I was single again and could look back on it and think about how I felt all during it, I just figured it all out.

I have no idea where this is going. But sometimes I guess I just need to write these things out somewhere.