“Will Shakespeare is not a murderer,” England snaps, and America’s heel hits the bedpost as he recoils. “For the love of—sweet fucking Christ, I knew the man, he’s no villain.”
“He writes a pretty convincing one.”
England scoffs. “And do you think Anthony Hopkins eats people on a regular basis?”
“Of course not,” America says, and adds, “that’s different.”
“Is it really.”
New topic.
from puella_nerdii's epic 'time travel and shakespeare and zombies' fanfic.
[to be edited with more things... probably...]
lulz, alfred trying to speak Elizabethan english...
“Have you lost your tongue, man?” one of the men behind him asks.
Right. America clears his throat, tries to grin even if it feels like he cracks his face when he does it. “Uh. Prithee, sirs! I, um. I cometh to—” Christ, he hasn’t talked like this in centuries, if ever. When do you use the –eth, again? “I cometh to attend—no, wait, to wait upon. Uh. Thy pleasure?”
The first guy looks nonplussed. “What manner of speech is this?” he asks.
“I know not,” says one of the guys in back. “I have not heard its like.”
Oops. America grins, holds his arms out to show he’s unarmed. (Ha, arms to show he’s unarmed—oh wow he’s cold.) “Lo, I am—I am a traveler! A traveler dicked around—I mean, cast down by fortune,” he’s sure he read that in one of Shakespeare’s plays, “and uh kind of strandedeth at the moment, so if you—” Crap, should he say thou instead? “Uh. If thou could point me to yon inn, I would be way grateful, because it is cold as balls out here.”
“His speech and dress are passing strange,” the third man says.
“Yeah, well, taketh one to knoweth one, buddy.”
“A traveler, sayest thou?” the lead guy asks. “Show thy papers.”
America grimaces, and not just because of the cold. “Papers?”
“Thou art a traveler, aye? Where are thy traveling papers?”
Jeez, England had bureaucracy this far back? “I, uh, left ‘em in the privy, but if you’ll giveth me one second—”
“Art thou a rogue, a madman, or both, sirrah?” asks the first, and the tip of his sword’s pointed at America’s neck. Not good. “The captain of the town watch bids thee speak, for no God-fearing man walks the streets at this hour.”
“I was walkingeth the alleyways, and did you just call me a hooker?”
The guy blinks, but doesn’t lower the sword.
“Never mind. Look, I apologize most humbly for the confusion, can you please let me go on my merry way, ‘cause uh, there art this other guy waiting for me, and he’s going to be most pissy with all of thou, if you know what I mean.”
-
“So uh,” he says, changes the subject. “You’re Shakespeare.”
“Ay.”
“Sweet.”
“Sweet?” Shakespeare frowns. “I’ve not had that appended to my name often.”
“No, no. Uh. Sweet means—cool.” Crap, he won’t know that either. “Awesome? Something you approve of?”
“Ah.” Now the soft smile’s back. America likes it. Less showy than what you’d expect from like the greatest writer of all time, but it looks like Shakespeare’s content enough with it and doesn’t want to force it further, and who’s America to argue? “You speak a most strange dialect, sir.”
“I guess so.” America cracks a grin of his own. “You guys sound strange to me.”
“Ay, that we must.”
-
“I’m from, uh. I’m from—Schnittelheim,” he says. It’s the most German thing he can come up with on short notice.
...
“Where is this Schnittelheim?”
“In Germany,” America says. “Way deep in Germany.”
“I had thought it Swedish, perhaps. Or Danish.”
“We’re pretty close to Denmark!” he says. “And we’ve got a lot of Swedes in the village.”
“The village of Schnittelheim.”
“Yeah. You like the way it sounds?”
Shakespeare doesn’t answer, just breathes in and echoes the word again. “It puts me in mind of clipping and scraping,” he says. “Marvelous qualities to evoke, truly.”
unrelated:BAWWWWW, JIN AND SUN FINALLY FOUND EACH OTHER!!!! i got a little teary. it made me incredibly happy.
and then i was promptly whiplashed by creepy not!locke.
also unrelated: doctor #11 and his showwwww. i love the internet. seriously. because 'the eleventh hour' just showed in america this past weekend, right after ep 3 showed in the uk. though, i couldn't watch either cuz i was at pawpaw's, but still. i watched ep 3 when i got back. and i couldn't stop giggling through the whole thing. and i completely lost it when the new daleks showed up. the first thing i thought of was "HOLY SHIT DALEK POWER RANGERS" and then molly said she thought of skittles: "TASTE THE EXTERMINATION." i love my nerdy friends.
GO GO DALEK RANGERS!
