30 March 2010


i was up all night finishing that paper. i finished it just before 8, including re-typing the works cited page. i futzed with a bit of the spacing so it's more obviously 6 pages, even though technically it's just under 5.5. whatever, i don't care.

i'm gonna turn this thing in, stay conscious through whatever he has to say, and then go nap till 1:30. it'll be awesome.

29 March 2010

english is gonna be the death of me...

for serious, no joke. i have to write this entire review of research paper tonight. i'm expecting it to be an all-nighter, which is going to suck. at least i don't have math and i can sleep through cinema.

had my advising appointment today. nothing really new. i'm taking 2 summer classes this summer, and i calculated i can take 14-15 credits a semester for the next 2 years to get everything done. after this semester i'll have 61/123, and i'm taking 7 this summer. i'm really happy with the way the summer courses are organized. i'm taking 2 3-week long intensive courses: psych 101 and art of india. i have each for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. psych at 9, history at 3. there's about a week between the end of finals and the start of summer classes, and my sessions are done by june 11. so i'll be going back to work later than usual, but oh well.

i really don't have anything else to talk about. i only have a few classes this week. no ceramics and no math, which is awesome, though i still have to go in and practice on the wheel. only 1 textiles class, and the usual cinema and english classes.

mmm, red bull.

ugh, this is going to kill me, isn't it...

i'm going home this weekend to attend a giant pillow fight in dc with yasha. i might be hanging out with shelley as well, which will be sweet. and i have to plan out when i'm taking what courses for the rest of college with dad. i'm already planning on taking 3 studios in the fall: two textiles and 1 drawing. i'm really excited about drawing, mainly because after the basic one i can take life drawing. that'll have to make up for the fact that apparently i can't take anatomy... maybe i can squeeze into anatomy for the dancer and fill my open electives.

grr, degree requirements are a bitch and a half to deal with...

fuck school, man...

28 March 2010

a meme thing from cesley

This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?

Gonna do anything new this year?
already done several new things, and hopefully more to come

The last time you felt honestly heart broken?
last week's "lost" was pretty heartbreaking...

Are you craving something?
bagel. whoa, hey, there's a bagel!

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
my meds... that would make everything so much easier...

Would you rather have ten kids, or none?

What's something not many people know about you?
not sure the internet is the way to go with revealing that kinda stuff...

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
probably not

Have you ever swallowed a watermelon seed?
people haven't?

Do you currently have a hickey?

Who did you last go out to eat with?

Are you planning on watching New Moon?
i really just want to skip the end when they're in italy and forget about all that terrible angst...

Miss someone?
oh yeah

Be honest, do you like people in general?
not really

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?

Now your cell phone, what color is it?

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
not yet, i just woke up

So, what do you want for your birthday?
a bass!

What is your mom saved as in your phone?
mom. but she has a pic of her motorcycle, so that's cool, right?

Do you tell your parent's everything?

What do you like more, Fruits or Veggies?

Who do you talk to the most about your problems?
yasha and angela

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
cigarettes, yeah, probably.

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone?
what kinda question is that? i'llprobably hurt myself trying to finish this english assginment...

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
present and very near future, like this coming week

How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
weekends tend to be around 12, weeknights tend to be around 5-6

Are you easy to get along with?
once i stop being shy and actually engaging, yeah i think so

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
no way

What was the last drink that you had?

When was the last time you were sick?
i have a feeling i'm constantly on a low simmer with colds... maybe it has to do with my basement room, but i'm sniffly all the time

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
yeah, but i don't think i will

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?

What's your favorite perfume/cologne?
i really don't wear perfume...

Do you have a good reputation?
i'd like to think so

Have you ever cheated?
not in relationships

Ever made someone cry and laughed?
at the same time? don't think so

Who do you wanna spend the rest of your life with?
no clue

How many jerks do you know?
a few? idk

Favorite color?

Who made you mad today?
i really only just got up... but i was annoyed earlier by loud people outside my window at 8...

Are you upset?
not really

One question that's on your mind?
am i actually gonna do homework today?

Person you're trying to ignore?
no one

If you could kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
uhh, i can't even remember who that was...

Do you regret things?
i regret random little things, and they way i went about ending my last relationship.

Do you think anyone will read your answers?
probably not, but whatevs

Who do you trust?
yasha, definitely. and a couple others

Do you forgive easily?
generally, yeah

What's on your mind?
english... AHHHHHHH! and my silk painting, but that'll hopefully be fun. and classes...

If you could apologize to anyone right now, who would it be?
i'm sorry if it seems like i led you on. i didn't really understand myself at the time, and now that i do, i know i was kinda a bitch to do that to you. i'm glad, though, that you seem better now.

Are you honest?
i try to be

What are you listening to?
voxtrot, yeahh

Are looks important?
unfortunately, yeah

What flavor of chapstick did you last use?
burt's bees original. mmm

Where did you get the shirt that you're wearing?
my bro, and he from some little league

Is anybody in the room with you right now?
just me

Do your socks constantly mis-match?

Have you ever been on fmylife.com?
i used to like it, but then i found mlia, and then i forgot about both

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into?
angela's dorm? does that count?

Wishing you could have said something to someone when you had the chance?

Fess up, who was the last person you thought about kissing?

Last picture comment was from?

Ever tackled someone to the ground?
not quite to the ground, we were at work. but yeahhh

How many people have you hugged in the past week?
quite a few, i can assure you

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
probably, but i have no idea who

Do you have both a loud side and a quiet side?
the quiet side is bigger, but sometimes i can be loud

Are you a stressed out person?

Are your parents over the age of 40?

How are you feeling?
cold, hungry, sleepy

Are you ready to get out of this town?
not quite yet, though i certainly don't plan on staying in this town

How important is trust?

Are you the youngest of your siblings?

I bet someone's on your mind right now?

Have you ever slapped someone?
not that i can think of

Will tomorrow be better than today?
no classes = yes. giant-ish english paper = no

Are you a naturally happy person? Or is the happiness forced?
naturally neutral, with a tendency towards happy

Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you?
a couple times, yeah. though generally it's more high than drunk. my friends are cool like that...

22 March 2010

sound of a thousand whispering words

[again with the song lyrics...]

today was a really good first day back. it was all around a complete success, though maybe not with regards to food...

i learned how to center and make a little cup-bowl on the wheel today. i made 6 in about an hour and a half and got to leave early. i also got incredibly messy. like, the knees of my pants were rather clay-y, as was my shirt. but it was fun and i was happy that i figured out how to do it so fast. i need to remember to bring a container for water wednesday though... but yeah, incredibly fun and satisfying.

not so fun inbetween period, though i ate some tasty soup. attempted to do my quilt patterns, but realized i didn't give myself nearly enough time so yeah. the walk to class was really fun though. literally, as soon as i stepped out of the door it started pouring like crazy, so i had to grab my umbrella before locking the door. between gilmer and goshen i discovered my shoes were soaked through completely. along goshen i took note of my state of wet from the waist down. and by the time i got to the classroom it had stopped raining. i took my shoes off and spent class barefoot, which was pretty fun. the floor of the dye room is strangely gritty though. and the hall to jewelry and fibers has a very warm floor.

i got all my silk painting on the 2 restisted parts done. they look pretty good, even though my shaky hands made my aim sorta wonky... my left palm is mostly covered in dye, green for the most part, as a result of icky bottle caps. oh well. more mess! the first quadrant is purple-y mainly, and the second one is greens. i'm not really sure how to go about the third one color wise... i'll figure it out wednesday.

after class i hit up rite aid and then went to anna's to get a haircut. we went for the angled bob, which looks pretty cool. i don't have any pictures yet, but anna took a couple. and i flipped her off brit-style in one because i was feeling weird. idk...

i hung out with anna, tay, and hassim for a few hours after that. we ate at 5 guys - or, they did, i brought my smoothie over. we went to coldstone and tay got emily to sing. we went to the top of the bookstore parking deck and just loitered for a while. it was really cold though, and windy, so we left. we cut through the fab and visited jenny in her studio. and then we went back to biggs. hassim is getting into film photography, so i talked to him a bit about it. it was nice to be able to still help someone with my vast knowledge of photography.

all in all, a good night. my shirt is really itchy though, even though i had a towel on my shoulders.

i'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all... i really need to write this english paper, but i really can't see that happening... i got a preemptive 4-pack of red bull. hopefully it won't come down to that though.

america with his most common partners. i really like this artist's style.

21 March 2010

here comes the nighttime

[rawr, matt & kim is awesome. are awesome? one of those...]

i got to work produce yesterday. it was kinda fun. and heavy. seriously, one bucket of just lettuce weighed so much! i had to get joe to get one such bucket down from where barret stashed it too high... but yeah. i ran produce for a good 4 or 5 hours. i thought i did a pretty good job. i ended up getting called to bag a lot around 5 or 6, and when i finally made it back produce was a mess. seriously, there were almost no bananas left. also, within an hour of me working it when i got there, when i was putting up bananas [we went through 5 boxes while i was there. no joke...] barret offered me a summer job at more than i make now. sooo yay! he said i had the hands for it, because i was being careful and specific with my banana placement, instead of just kinda tossing them up there. awesome.

i did my taxes last night. refunds all around!

drove back to rva today. exciting. i don't know what it is about 95, but it seriously always puts me to sleep. which is really bad when i'm driving... but yeah, i got in before 11, which was awesome. and then i sat around online til, like, 2 before showering... and then sitting around some more until close to 5 before getting some food. i ended up getting 5 guys and heading to the fab to finish my resisting. so that's done. none of the rest of my homework is though... i'm really terrible, and this week is going to suck.

i've got a paper due thursday morning and some sort of math creation due thursday afternoon. neither of which have even been started. actually, the document for english has the page number header coded in, my info blurb, and a title. but that's the easy part. god, i'm so totally screwed. i still need to find out current handwriting rehabilitation methods. i can tell this week is going to be terrible.

as for math, i know i want to do a narwhal tessellation. maybe something like this, only i have no idea what to put in the sky...

mmmmm, this is an amazing story. it makes me feel guilty for loving it so much...

18 March 2010

i wish i brought my arnica...

work work work

i always forget how sore it makes me, especially when i haven't done any real physical labor for a couple months now. and this is just after 2 days of working.

monday was fun in a pointless way. yasha and i went to arundel mills and just kinda wandered around. i bought us lunch, then ice cream. we didn't really do anything. we wandered around bass pro shops, looking at guns mostly, we went to dave and buster's to ask about his job, we looked through spencers. really, that's it. then we drove back, i bought him a couple gallons of gas, and he took me home. not exciting, but it beats sitting at home all day ignoring my homework...

work on tuesday. i basically spent all day bagging and fronting random things. quite boring, but oh well. it was money.

work on wednesday. i wore my green shirt. spent all day climbing on top of things and moving what was on top of the produce cooler and bathrooms to the new extra space, which we're just borrowing while the renovations are happening. i was confused as to why they had two of the smallest people, me and tim, climbing giant ladders and lifting heavy things. i finished up the last of it a little before 6.

it's been so nice these last couple of days. saturday was pretty gross, so was sunday. monday was okay, but tuesday and wednesday were so nice. i ate my lunch yesterday in the trunk of the wagon outside listening to the radio. i'm gonna do it again today.

also, i get to see will today!

well, i need to go attempt to pack a lunch before work. horray...

this needs no explanation. it's just absofuckinglutely amazing beyond all words.

15 March 2010

break? what break?

first of all: i have a weird combination of "love game" by lady gaga, "living in the sky with diamonds" by cobra starship, and "the bird and the worm" by owl city stuck in my head. it's so strange... it goes something like, "hold me and love me - if you're the bird - we're living in the sky with diamonds." now imagine it with the melodies. weird.

also: fala got a twitter, and after some unsuccessful searches we found each other. i'm sort of getting into twitter now. i can't say 'again' cuz i was never very into it before... but yeah.

i've got work over break. money-work. like, more than i was expecting. i'm working everyday tuesday thru saturday. i was hoping to leave saturday so i had all of sunday to futz around and do the stupid resist, but i'll have to go back sunday.

tues: 12-8p
wed: 10-6p
thurs: 1:30-9:30p
fri: 2:30-9:30p
sat: 12-8p

this throws a wrench in my yasha plans, so we're gonna do something tomorrow after he gets out of class. no idea what, but i offered him gas money since i know he never has enough of it. i'm hoping to work on my english paper tomorrow, but we'll see how that goes.

daylight savings time started. the sucky version, where i lost an hour. and i didn't even sleep very well last night. so, i was still laughing loudly at 11:30 before i remembered everyone else was in bed and i should really be quiet because it's not 10:30 like my body is convinced it is. so now i'm still rather awake. it's altogether unfortunate.

i did something i'm terribly ashamed of today. like you wouldn't believe. i need to remember to delete my history...

ok, awesome-fill-of-the-moment time. it's called "the screeching bitches" and so far it's pretty awesome. in general, it's about the awkward forming of a band. i have to say in general because the request is rather detailed and awesome. part of the reason i love it so is because of french-canadian!matthew because that is win.

full prompt:
Alfred is in a band with Arthur and Francis. Recently they lost their drummer in the Incident and now they need a new one. Francis drags his ex-military cousin from Quebec, Mattieu in for a session and the poor guy is basically strong armed into joining.

At first Mattie seems quiet and polite but Alfred realizes that the Canadian is a master of the art of stealth snark. Alfred and Mattie settle into something of a love/hate kind of friendship, but eventually it stirs up into something a little hotter and a lot deeper.

Must haves:
1. Mattie has ptsd, is an autodidact, is writing (poetry, short stories, novels, everything really) as he lives/wastes his life away on Francis's couch.
2. Alfred is an astrophysics doctorate student.

the filler is slightly off in her part numbering, but that's just me being ridiculous... i'm half convinced bay is the writer, but i think that's because i want her to be writing something i'm reading. she mentioned working on a new fill, so i'm just hoping i managed to find it because she's awesome.

matt told the rents he smokes. which slightly surprises me - the telling-the-rents part, not the smoking part. i knew he smoked a while ago. so whenever he 'goes for a walk' it's more obvious he's going out to smoke.

mom made fudge. it's delicious. and it's just chocolate chips, condensed milk, vanilla, and a bit of salt.

i've recently been going back through all my posts here and editing my tags. like, deleting the random ones that only have one use. i may just go back the beginning and retag everything, but i feel like that's pointless and will be really weird for me, rereading everything i've done since august 2008. because i did some strange things, like that pic-a-day thing back in like october 08. yeah.

and my spelling is sucking right now. i should probably just brush my teeth [which i'm making a point of doing every night starting with break], taking that melatonin, and and winding down.

complete crack. i have to say, the game is tailor-made for england, and has quite the potential for addiction.

13 March 2010

and another one for today!

i really wanted to write something, so i meditated on my hair. i'm not sure if 'meditated' is the right word, but i wrote a little piece about my hair and why i like it. i decided to turn my nanowrimo journal into a general writing journal so as to not clutter this one.

entry in 'the self'
dA entry

random: i really like the combination of purple and green. like, i once did my eyes like this: green eyes, purple liner, purple shadow, green mascara. and right now my nails are green and i tried to do a sort of french nails thing with purple, only it didn't really work. but my class ring is purple.

home again, home again, etc...

took the greyhound home yesterday for break. exciting, as usual. mom picked me up because dad was working and yasha was on his way to new york with heather for the tim burton exhibit. and everyone who knows him is incredibly jealous. i know i am...

anyway, everything has been going well so far. i brought up the unfortunate housing situation over dinner at red lobster, and when we got home i walled nicole. so i am confident we'll be living together next year, which should be fun. seriously, no sarcasm there. hopefully it'll all work out, seeing as we're both rather prone to add... we should probably start looking for places soon.

matt didn't get into college park, but he did get into cua and pitt. we're still waiting for umbc, and i forget what's up with vt.

dad's going to cali [i think] for the week for work. which sucks for family time, but means there's less people fighting over cars. at least i got to see him some before he left. he's taking a red eye back next sunday. i'm not sure what this means for transport back. i do want to come back saturday because i've gotta work on my silk painting. i need to have all the resisting done by class on monday.

i've got work to do over break, which is unfortunate. i have to work on my review of research paper for english and figure out how my actual paper is going down. i need to come up with ideas for quilt patterns, though that should be pretty easy. i have to do my math final, which i'm pretty sure is going to be some sort of narwhal tessellation. just because. and i may be working-working, though dan hasn't gotten back to me.

and i've got some half-baked [heh] plans for st patty's day with yasha. we're hanging out during the day, because he's got plans with heather for the evening/night. over im we proposed plans, which led to a really weird conversation involving cross-dressing [that's saved as a draft here so i can remember it forever], but i'm realizing i'm not sure exactly how the pre-plan is going to work out. he needs to acquire things. i hope he does. because yeah. [slightly related: i'm hoping 420 pans out for me as well...]

recently i broke down and downloaded a shit-ton of owl city. stupid fsts getting me interested in stuff i normally wouldn't be... like german industrial rock. and french rap - wait, that was jenny. anyway... yeah, i have owl city, which led to me breaking down and getting mgmt, because dammit, it's catchy. which reminded me to download matt & kim, even though they're not related to mgmt at all. oh, my musical escapades...

oh god, i almost started talking about this incredible fic i finished reading, but then i remembered exactly how incredibly inappropriate it is. because it really is. it makes me feel terrible and giddy at the same time, and i love it. grr. stupid guilty pleasures putting me on trains to hell...

uhh... i want to keep talking, but i have no idea what else to say...

well, i just finished blood-winged amazing story, "at the end of all things." and i'm terribly sad that it's over. wahhhh, i don't want it to be over! also, i want her to write more prucan, but that's really beside the point... i'm so sad, i'm rereading the whole thing. or i'm just really bored and craving me some prucan...

idek... pixiv is cool.

10 March 2010

cooking adventures!

i had such a hard time cooking my fish and baking some sticky buns...

first, the fish wasn't thawed so i had to mess around with running it under water for a while... but by the time i was ready to cook it, it still wasn't really thawed. i went ahead anyway. not surprisingly, i found some raw-ish bits near the skin. i flipped it over at one point, and when it landed i got attacked by hot oil. i'm not burned, thank goodness, but i had to clean it off the floor and such. not cool...

then, [or, simultaneously] i couldn't open the sticky bun tube, because kroger sucks. i arranged them in my brownie pan with the goo and the nuts, then remembered i had a bread pan. so i moved them over, and instead of it being too big, it was too small. and i had to bake it for an extra 12 minutes because our oven sucks. oh well, i've got breakfast.

i need to head back to the fab soon to fix my silk so it'll stop being retarded. i'm bringing my hammer and my ambition. i might do some more resist, depends on how bored i'm feeling.

i've started french braiding my bangs down the side of my head and behind my ear. because they're annoying. i think i'm gonna try braiding some fuzzy yarn in with it to make it longer for no reason.

also, aced my film midterm and the embroidery project and my bibs. awesome.

i've got one class left till i'm on break. yay! also, we've got water again at home! double yay!

i have no idea, i just picked it. but it's hilarious.

06 March 2010

i needa title for these shoes...

so, last night i watched 'the fountain'. and i kept associating hugh jackman with a canadian lumberjack, thanks to wolverine, and then i would remind myself he's actually australian, and then i thought of how good he is with accents.


i finished the trees and got them mostly attached to the shoe. but i decided my time would be better spent doing the river, so i started it.

movies watched:
- the fountain
-the darjeeling limited
- franklyn

in other [depressing] news, my period hit hard today. i spent a couple hours curled up dozing and trying to ride out the cramps. it's really annoying how sometimes i have ridiculously debilitating cramps, and sometimes i've got almost none. last semester i left jewelry early they were so bad. today i stayed in bed, and then i went to make a sandwich cuz i was starving, i ended up spending at least half an hour semi-conscious on the sofa.

i'm seeing "alice in wonderland" tomorrow with angela. hopefully it'll be awesome. after the movie i'm gonna watch the oscars.

and i need to stop messing around and get back to work. i've done about 2.5 sq in on the river, and i need to kick up the pace.

related: switzerland as alice. ok, maybe it's just crack...

what is this?!

just... it blew my mind with awesome.


seriously. as the first commenteranon said, "you had me at 'I'll F your 5, bitch.'"

fucking win.

anyway... back to the movies and the embroidery.

and some original himaruya! i think that's the first appearance of mochimerica. maybe the second... i forget...

05 March 2010


not really, though.

but yeah. yesterday i ended my sleep-fast. 38 straight hours of not sleeping. i was doing that awkward droopy-eye sleep thing in math, though. it's no wonder i took no notes. but i get to make a for real tessellation for class tuesday, as well as my ambigram. ehh, i'll do that monday night.

but starting around 9 last night i started to get kinda loopy. and then i kept twitching my legs and fidgeting. and then i realized it was that same body-high from new years. well, first i left loopy messages on angela's wall about burn notice and sent yasha a couple loopy texts. and put in my status something about grammar not being real.

went to bed at 10, started gaining consciousness again close to noon. and those 14 hours were amazing.

i went to kroger, just because. got some fruit and a bunch of drinks and some ben & jerrys. and i remembered why i might've purposely lost my first pairs of ipod headphones: the right one never stays in my ear because for some reason that ear canal is smaller than my left one. so, while i get better sound quality and volume with those ones, i'll be switching to my other ones that actually stay on my head.

i made mac & cheese for dinner and mixed in some leftover alfredo 'sauce' that was kinda just cheesey-cream with melted butter. it had separated and looked funny but tasted yummy.

in other news, i finished the first embroidery! i just need to attach it to the shoe and do the detail work.

the first large part was on angela's wall. the rest is mine. and then that's the texts at the bottom. go paint!

03 March 2010

sleep is for the carefree

putting the pic at the beginning today. evil!steampunk!arthur by annie. it really is quite amazing.

i got a 4-pack of red bull after textiles. opened the first one at 5:05. it's really the only energy drink i can stand to drink. i am fully expecting to be up literally all night working on these bibs. it's going to suck, yes. and how done i am by about 9 determines whether i'll be going to class or not.

first order of business: finish the one from last week. 3 pages left to summarize, and it's done.

i'll do a couple books after that, considering they'll take the longest to 'read'. i'm just going to skim, but still. and i'll periodically check my hetalia pages for a bit of a distraction. i'll have to get food at some point. i've got my music playing, and i can sort through it for what to put on the new ipod. i got through q last night, though that leaves the giant sections of shiny toy guns and tegan & sara to go.

i'll update my progress here.

mmmm. when i drink red bull, my tummy feels warm.

so, with most of the first one gone, i certainly have energy, though i seem to be lacking in the focus department...

finally finished that bib from last week. short intermission, maybe a sandwich, and on to new things.

made myself a sandwich. ces was making her dinner too. she's also making coffee to aide in the writing of bibliographies, in the same way i have red bull. i'm not sure if anyone in this house will be sleeping tonight.

finished the first red bull. jeez, that took me almost 4 hours to drink! i'm gonna wait a little before getting another. i started one of the book sources.

opened red bull #2.

hey, i found the usb for my ipod! related: i'm pretty sure my new ipod came today, only they needed a signature and no one was here so i have to pick it up from the post office tomorrow.

so the first book i picked is more about composition than handwriting, so i scrapped that. new book is short and has illustrations! but i can't find anything about the author, which really sucks. also, i feel like little!alfred on my itunes is cheering me on. i can do this! yeah!

i'm awake, but i feel tired. like, i'm kinda sleepy, but i know i can't actually sleep. and i just suddenly had the wild idea to write a paper about energy drinks, except that's dumb and it's way too late to change my idea.

gosh, i miss the olympics. also, my left eye is acting up. grr

finished the second red bull. still have 3 sources to go...

i just discovered a couple pics on my camera itself, not the card. there's one that's really cool, a night shot with light blurs, but i have no way of getting it off. sad...

finally finished one! time to get another red bull and go through the other book...

knowing i won't be sleeping make me feel like i have plenty of time to finish. i have basically 9 hours till it's due, though really that's probably about 8 hours of actual working time, since i'll need breakfast, time to change, time to walk there and to print. i might be able to make it, but i'm not sure. i think i'm gonna do the short pdf in a bit. i need some random first... still haven't opened the third, though it's sitting here waiting.

here goes number 3. i'm actually feeling a bit dizzy and hot, which is worrying. i turned off the heat a little while ago, and i've got my heater going on my feet. i really hope my heart doesn't explode or something. i think my heartbeat might be a little slow. i feel mentally exhausted, but physically awake. and it's only 12:34. i think i'm going to take a short break and sit on my bed for a little. the red bull is staying at the desk.

my eyes are starting to have trouble focusing. my body is falling asleep. but i can't sleep yet. cesley is nearly done, though will be up for a while more with all that coffee she drank. time to get back to work. also, i'm not sure if my choice in fun-reading was good... i reread some of the hetaliaspotting/requiem for a nation drabbles, which are really depressing and dark. i feel like i should read something more ridiculous to wake me back up before attempting more english. but i really should just drink some more red bull and knuckle down. next between-reading break then.

i managed to find an article about how to help adults recover from traumatic brain injuries that was referenced in a similar article about adolescents. unfortunately, i'm having trouble getting to it for free, which is really sucky. i figured it would be better to use the original version, since i'm comparing child brains to adult brains, but it's looking like i'll have to take the teens...

yes i found it! awesome! i think i'll use the teen one too.

man, i would love to not be doing this. seriously. but i need to finish it at some point today, and the more i get done while i'm forced awake the less i'll have to do later when i'm exhausted from not sleeping and stressed by other assignments. i've allotted thursday to be spent on this in some fashion, with the rest of the weekend being embroidery. i need to do this, or i risk failing. yasha really is right about that. i can't fail this. i won't let myself. having to take this class again would be even worse, and i'd really hate myself. i'm half tempted to take a full hour to disengage my brain and do something else, but i'm not sure if i really have the time.

i'm hungry. i'm gonna get some cereal in a bit. i'm having trouble really focusing on what i'm reading. i'm reading it out loud, but it's not really registering. i guess it's probably time for another break...

i really don't want to go back to work. but i have to. fuuuuuck. also, i'm slightly worried about my heater. it's been on for hours now and smells slightly of melting plastic...

finished the third red bull. i'm definitely going to hold off on the fourth one for as long as i can. i'm slightly worried that i drank those 3 in under 11 hours. i really hope i don't die...

holy crap, my feet are so warm! also, i feel like i'd be better off just sorta skimming this article. i really can't concentrate for long on all this science and psychology and neurology... also, ces is done. she finished a while ago, but i forgot to mention it. not sure if she'll be able to fall asleep though. liz is doing laundry. i'm not sure why she always does it late at night. and no, i don't think i'll be able to finish in the next 4.5 hours. my new goal: noon! that's 8 hours.

i feel like my attention is wandering more and more. i have a feeling i would be better served to stop working for a while, maybe even leave my laptop, and do something completely unrelated. then again, i keep doing basically that, and nothing is helping. i think i'm going to lie down in bed and mess with music and play games, rather than do any form of reading. i hope this works... i'm definitely not going to class...

i spent the last hour and a half organizing the playlist for my nano. i got all the way through tegan and sara, and it's 13.5G so far. i figure i've got about 2G left. i may have to go back through it again and ditch some things to make sure what i want will fit. i'm really excited. i'm about ready to start up again. i'm gonna work from my bed where it's toasty and comfy. when i go up for breakfast at 8 i'm gonna make tea and turn the heat on. i figure i'll save the last red bull for when i start to fade during the day.

it's getting to sunrise. my first ever true all-nighter was somewhat successful. i'm not sure if i'm happy i did it, because the whole process was rather unhealthy, but it was beneficial. mostly. as it is, i have a feeling i'm going to be spending all the free time i have finishing...

i definitely feel more productive now than i did at 4:30. that break definitely helped me get some focus back.

whoa. i feel weirdly tingly all over and i think i'm starting to fall asleep. i think i'm gonna get breakfast and tea now, probably take a caffeine pill later.

finally finished! only 2 left. i'm hoping i can get one more done before math, and the last one after math. ok, food and tea for real now.

ok, food consumed, tea mostly gone, time to get cracking again. not looking forward to this...

i hear maintenance starting the digging work outside of my closet. horray! yesterday they even fixed the front porch light! i'm excited!

i'm having a little trouble staying awake now. at least the article i'm reading is written as if for people unfamiliar with the subject, so there's a lot of explanation. mmmmmy bed is toasty.

and done with that one! only one to go, but i'm gonna wait to start it. i really need to rest my brain, even though i was on a roll with that one.

02 March 2010

slow down, life!

i am seriously fucked.

i'm really tempted to say i slept in thursday and email the final bib later in the day, like after math. which, i keep remembering, i have to create an ambigram for.

as it is, i'm going to be up till at least 2 tonight meeting my goal of finishing the half i started yesterday, and 2 more. and then i get to skim books to write the other 2 tomorrow. i just remembered i have to finish my design for my silk painting by 2 tomorrow, and i really wish i could skip ceramics but i don't want to fall behind on something else. i don't think i'll be sleeping tomorrow night. and i won't be sleeping through class, i'll be finishing these god-awful bibliographies.

so. things to do this week:
- silk painting design: due 2p 3/3
- 4 and 2 halves annotated bibliographies: due 9:30a 3/4
- ambigram of some word: due 12:30p 3/4
- the rest of ansel embroideries [finish 1, entire other]: due 1-2p 3/8

at least i have the weekend for the embroideries. because i have to completely ignore that until i finish english.

times to work:
3/2: now-2a [bibs]
3/3: 12-2p [bibs, silk design, shower?], 5p-?? [bibs, ambigram?]
3/4: 2p-1a [embroidery]
rest of the weekend for embroidery

and i haven't even had time to shower. i feel so gross, but i don't feel like i can spare the time. i'm going to try between class tomorrow.

i feel slightly better having written exactly what i need to do. slightly. i really shouldn't have baked brownies today, or gone through itunes for what to put on my new ipod when it comes, or even watched 'lost'. because that was 3 hours right there.

i am so totally fucked.

red bull and 5 hour energy are going to be my best friends from now until monday. or, well, from when i get some till monday...

something ridiculous to make me feel better. from the kink meme.

i've also managed to chew a part of my lip rather raw. it feels funny on my mug...

oh god. it's 1, and i'm reading out loud, and hearing myself read what my eyes are seeing, but my brain is not interpreting anything that's going on. i managed to schedule out my life from tomorrow morning till sunday night, though i'm already planning on changing it. i have a feeling i'm going to 'sleep through' english, and am already composing an email to lodge regarding sending him my finished bib by thursday night. i'm going to be watching so many movies this weekend... at least 10. good thing i've got 15 unwatched ones saved...

[again again]
it's 2:30 and i finally finished the one i started yesterday [meaning monday]. fuck i'm in such deep shit with this. i'm done for the night though. so i'm winding down and waiting for the melatonin to set in. yeah, i'm totally screwed...

01 March 2010


soooo the olympics are over now. and i don't know what to do with myself.

saturday's curling gold medal game was pretty fun. mainly because of the pants. sadly, they weren't the red-white-blue ones, but the red-white-grey ones. still. there was someone from canada who had an air horn and blew it a few of the times norway was shooting [or whatever it's called...]. he got booed by the fans for being a rude ass. and then when canada won i sang the random parts of their national anthem i know.

but holy shit sunday's hockey gold medal game was so intense! seriously. canada got 2 in the first period, but us scored once in the second and again no even a minute before the end of the third. oh god! i was trying to do my embroidery while watching, but by then i had pretty much abandoned it. way too intense. so, SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME!! AND CANADA SCORED!!!! god i was so excited!!! i was following a spam thread on the hetalia com, filled with strange and random bouts of national pride. but, alas, i was deleted. stupid mods... i knew, though, that if canada lost they would be the most depressed silver medalists in the history of forever.

and then i made myself celebratory pancakes. i put a little hot chocolate mix in and poured the rest of the maple syrup in the microwave bottle. i used the last of the bisquick to make 3 giant pancakes of delicious. and the 'canada' on facebook enjoyed my antics.

the closing was so fucking weird. william shatner and michael j fox talked about being canadian, there were dancing mounties, giant inflatable beavers, a kid dressed as a hockey puck, and i had no idea what i was watching. at all. it was just so weirdly amazing. except nbc sucks... but i missed he nickelback/avril lavgne concert, which is totally okay with me.

in other news, i'm desperately procrastinating on my bibliographies. like nobody's business. it's really bad, but i just can't motivate myself to work. and i would skip the class they're due, except we don't really have class next week, only one-on-one meetings. so i have 5 to do by class thursday. i need to just bookmark my hetalia pages and close the windows...

in other news, yasha is back to being communicable! [i'm not sure if that's the right word... though nicole may argue he is an easily-spreadable disease...] he got a new phone that works finally, and we had fun conversations last night. it made me very happy to have him back. not that he went anywhere...

i managed to successfully cook salmon for dinner today. the flesh-y side was nice and crispy golden brown, and all the flesh was cooked. and i even had a salad!

i ordered a new-ish ipod today. i got a light green 16G nano, 4th gen. not the most recent, the one with the camera, cuz i don't like that green. hopefully it'll be here by the end of the week, monday at the latest. and i pre-ordered "lord sunday" because garth nix has finally gotten his act together and finished the series! it makes me quite excited. i'm gonna have to re-read at least "superior saturday" over break, for it'll be waiting for me when i get back.

i'm angry at my laptop. i'm getting better at making the space bar work, though it tends to skip when i type 'gold medal' [whoa i didn't that time!]. the t has been giving me rouble [grr], and the middle thumb-button for scrolling has stopped working for some reason. very annoying... i keep intending to take it to the help desk, at least to get a new battery, but i'm lazy.

i guess i should do one more round of F5, and then get started on these bibs...

i love you, blue. seriously. she did both pics i have today. it's highly amusing that in men's and women's hockey it's canada-usa-finland.


United States: 9 gold, 15 silver, 13 bronze: 37 [winter olympic record]
Germany: 10 gold, 13 silver, 7 bronze: 30
Canada: 14 gold, 7 silver, 5 bronze: 26 [winter olympic record gold]